When the unthinkable happens, there is shock, grief, disbelief, numbness. We never for a moment thought there could be such a awful tragedy in Christchurch as the mosque attacks; we thought that we were too far away, as if magically protected by our distance and small population.
On 19 March, my mission was to give my students a yoga class that would somehow support them as they struggled to accept what had happened four days earlier and dealt with the cocktail of powerful emotions that came up. I don’t pretend that yoga can fix all the hurt and spirit away the pain, but I do know from my own experience that it can help us to get through our most challenging times.
This is how yoga can help us handle grief or shock:
- Feeling what we feel
Gently reconnecting us with our physical bodies and our breath, noticing the tension and tiredness that we are experiencing. It is very important we do this without judgment and start to practice accepting how we feel. Sometimes our response to how we feel makes things worse, especially when we try to deny our emotions or think we should feel differently.
2. Being gentle and kind to ourselves
Practising self care starts in yoga. My classes are sort of anti-competitive anyway, but in this class we went super easy. Repetitive movements that were soothing to the nerves helped to loosen the body and gently release tension without adding any anxiety to the mind. I did give a few options for a stronger practice to release energy for those who needed that (because we might have different needs), but encouraged everyone to go easy and really nurture themselves – I hope this lays a foundation for self care off the mat too.
3. Invoking the relaxation response to calm the nervous system
This is not so much what you do as how you do it. I had some beautiful piano music in the background and the whole class was slow and gentle. There were frequent reminders to notice the movement of the breath, which helps to take the mind off distracting or repetitive thoughts. Everything was geared towards calming the nervous system.
I know from my earthquake experiences that in times of high stress we may not even register that we are stressed – there is an underlying tension or fear that keeps our stress system activated even when we think we are ‘OK’. It is so important to counter stress, which can be toxic long term, and give body and mind a chance to relax and replenish.
4. Gentle expansive movements
There can be a tendency to close down after a shocking event – even for people who did not directly experience anything horrible. Honestly, I can say that just witnessing the sea of flowers at Hagley Park, seeing police walking around with big guns, looking at the newspaper or TV reports was emotional enough. The massive, multi-layered beauty of the response after such horror – it’s a lot to comprehend.
So we practised gentle opening movements that expanded the chest and heart area, and alternated these with protective movements with the arms crossed over the chest, expanding and protecting, moving slowly with the breath, and signalling to the heart and mind that both opening and feeling protected are necessary.
5. More relaxation
To finish, a big ‘yoga nidra’, or physic sleep. This is a passive relaxation session where the student can totally let go, without having to consciously put in any effort. There are four essential stages and four optional – yep, we did all eight!
They each have different purposes but collectively help the system to rejuvenate and be less reactive.
One of the stages is the sankalpa, or the resolve (something you want to bring into your life or develop – expressed in the positive sense as if it has already happened). Usually this is a personal resolve but I offered a sankalpa for Christchurch that the students could adapt to suit themselves – something like: our city is filled with tolerance and love.
Thank goodness we have yoga, one of my students said. On the mat we can return to the simplicity of just this breath, just this movement, just this moment that is now, just this heart that hurts – and hopes – as others do.
Breathe Aotearoa 